As much as I want to hang out in the Cemetech community, I consider myself currently not mentally fit to be here. I have not been diagnosed by a professional but it is very obvious there is something wrong with me. I did not want to publicly post this, but I have to explain my behavior to everyone.
You might not see it in my forum posts, but you can see it very clearly in my blog (which is linked in my profile, but I advise you not to read it if you are not prepared: "The internet killed me! The internet killed me!") and on chat (I had decreased my rep to -12, and Kerm has repeatedly cited my "low SNR"). I will ask you not to highlight anything special from chat in this thread as a conduit to try to teach me a lesson. I know what correct etiquette is, I'm just not in perfect control of myself.
While I am in this state, there is nothing for me to contribute here. Being at Cemetech and around chat also adds to my unproductivity as a distraction and by yearning for constant interactions with other people.
Until I can become somewhat more sane and rational, I am going to leave Cemetech temporarily. I don't know for how long, but consider it a voluntary ban since nobody wants to ban me from chat. I will work on my own stuff but I will torment no more the peaceful members of this community who know each other very well, and many who know each other in real life. I myself have no such close relations with anyone in this community.
I like making cool stuff, but currently my mind is too corrupted to properly work on any projects without deadlocks and massive procrastination. For example, I vowed to teach myself how to program ASM for the CSE to make an in-calculator assembly editor, but eventually I found myself complaining that I wanted to write in C but didn't have a CE. It is illogical how quickly I forgot what I wanted to work on with members of Cemetech. I need to cool down and sort my problems out before I get banned for good.
I admit that it is rather paradoxical to complain that I feel excluded from society and try to fix the issue by isolating myself even more. I also have only been here for about a month, but I feel that I should come back to participate only when my membership can be more worthwhile for myself and for others. If anyone genuinely and seriously wants to help me, you are encouraged to do so.
Otherwise, adios.
You might not see it in my forum posts, but you can see it very clearly in my blog (which is linked in my profile, but I advise you not to read it if you are not prepared: "The internet killed me! The internet killed me!") and on chat (I had decreased my rep to -12, and Kerm has repeatedly cited my "low SNR"). I will ask you not to highlight anything special from chat in this thread as a conduit to try to teach me a lesson. I know what correct etiquette is, I'm just not in perfect control of myself.
While I am in this state, there is nothing for me to contribute here. Being at Cemetech and around chat also adds to my unproductivity as a distraction and by yearning for constant interactions with other people.
Until I can become somewhat more sane and rational, I am going to leave Cemetech temporarily. I don't know for how long, but consider it a voluntary ban since nobody wants to ban me from chat. I will work on my own stuff but I will torment no more the peaceful members of this community who know each other very well, and many who know each other in real life. I myself have no such close relations with anyone in this community.
I like making cool stuff, but currently my mind is too corrupted to properly work on any projects without deadlocks and massive procrastination. For example, I vowed to teach myself how to program ASM for the CSE to make an in-calculator assembly editor, but eventually I found myself complaining that I wanted to write in C but didn't have a CE. It is illogical how quickly I forgot what I wanted to work on with members of Cemetech. I need to cool down and sort my problems out before I get banned for good.
I admit that it is rather paradoxical to complain that I feel excluded from society and try to fix the issue by isolating myself even more. I also have only been here for about a month, but I feel that I should come back to participate only when my membership can be more worthwhile for myself and for others. If anyone genuinely and seriously wants to help me, you are encouraged to do so.
Otherwise, adios.
